1
00:00:15,669 --> 00:00:17,462
Oh, most of my
friends love that.

2
00:00:29,913 --> 00:00:33,776
♪ Tell me why ♪
I love you like I do

3
00:00:33,913 --> 00:00:35,292
♪ Tell me who

4
00:00:35,430 --> 00:00:37,776
♪ Can stop my
heart as much as you

5
00:00:37,914 --> 00:00:39,811
♪ Let's take each other's hand

6
00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:42,846
♪ As we jump into
♪ The final frontier

7
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,225
♪ I'm mad about you, baby

8
00:00:46,743 --> 00:00:47,950
♪ Yeah ♪

9
00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:55,089
You sure you didn't see it?

10
00:00:55,227 --> 00:00:56,296
Sorry.

11
00:00:56,434 --> 00:00:59,090
A whole bag of
cookies just disappears?

12
00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:00,780
Sure you bought 2 bags?

13
00:01:00,918 --> 00:01:02,826
Yes. I'm positive. I remember
the guy at the checkout counter

14
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:05,091
going, "ah, somebody
likes a lot of cookies,"

15
00:01:05,229 --> 00:01:07,195
like I need this guy
commenting on my life.

16
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:09,723
Wait a second. Didn't we finish
the cookies when my folk over?

17
00:01:09,747 --> 00:01:11,368
Yes, but that was the first bag.

18
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,206
There were, like, two left. Your
father had one, and your mother said,

19
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:16,714
"Burt, the sugar will kill
ya," and then she ate it.

20
00:01:16,852 --> 00:01:18,212
And we didn't start
the second bag?

21
00:01:18,266 --> 00:01:22,784
No. They aren't here. I got
a craving. I'm really upset.

22
00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:24,967
Well, I'm gonna call the
police and see what they know.

23
00:01:24,991 --> 00:01:26,163
Maybe you ate 'em.

24
00:01:26,301 --> 00:01:27,681
Yes, that's what I did.

25
00:01:27,819 --> 00:01:29,779
I ate an entire bag of
Milano cookies in one shot.

26
00:01:29,854 --> 00:01:30,854
Not impossible.

27
00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:32,302
Yeah, and then,
I didn't tell you

28
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,648
because so shaky is
our relationship, so fragile,

29
00:01:35,786 --> 00:01:38,269
the ties that bind us,
and so heinous a crime...

30
00:01:38,407 --> 00:01:39,567
You tell me, where'd they go?

31
00:01:39,614 --> 00:01:41,304
I don't know. Nobody knows.

32
00:01:41,442 --> 00:01:44,132
You know what? It'll be just
one of those sweet mysteries

33
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,339
Well, I don't like it.

34
00:01:45,477 --> 00:01:46,580
I'm takin' a shower.

35
00:01:46,719 --> 00:01:47,995
I'm finding the cookies.

36
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:50,581
All right. I'll wash up,
you'll save France.

37
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,860
♪ I'm in the mood

38
00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:02,687
♪ For a shower

39
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,481
♪ Simply because

40
00:02:05,619 --> 00:02:07,412
♪ I enjoy a nice shower

41
00:02:13,516 --> 00:02:15,172
Often before one's death,

42
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:17,725
one's life flashes
before one's eyes.

43
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:21,621
Always know I love you.

44
00:02:30,554 --> 00:02:33,623
They're not always the
most profound images.

45
00:02:57,593 --> 00:03:02,249
But when taken together, they do
provide insight into a person's psyche.

46
00:03:02,387 --> 00:03:05,215
Your son Paul has
enormous potential.

47
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,501
Sure. SYLVIA: Well, naturally.

48
00:03:06,525 --> 00:03:08,595
If only he would apply himself.

49
00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:11,561
There's no question the
young man has potential.

50
00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:13,561
There's so much he can do.

51
00:03:13,699 --> 00:03:15,424
There so much I
know he wants to do.

52
00:03:26,357 --> 00:03:27,426
Finished!

53
00:03:27,564 --> 00:03:28,702
Totally empty.

54
00:03:43,049 --> 00:03:45,222
Thank you! Good night, Chicago!

55
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,360
Paul! Paul!

56
00:03:46,429 --> 00:03:48,636
Paul! Paul!

57
00:03:48,774 --> 00:03:50,948
Guess who's living
in Chicago now?

58
00:03:51,085 --> 00:03:52,085
Who?

59
00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:53,982
Your cousin
Victor's wife Marilyn.

60
00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:56,396
I told you they
split up, didn't I?

61
00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:57,949
Yeah. Yes. Yes, you did.

62
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,707
I hate to say I told you so,

63
00:04:00,845 --> 00:04:02,881
but she was never right for him.

64
00:04:05,743 --> 00:04:06,743
Paulie?

65
00:04:10,158 --> 00:04:11,571
What? What are you doing?

66
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,813
Um...

67
00:04:13,192 --> 00:04:14,192
Homework?

68
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,537
Really? And who is that, Judy?

69
00:04:18,021 --> 00:04:19,780
H-hello, Mrs. Buchman.

70
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:21,228
Hello.

71
00:04:21,366 --> 00:04:23,298
Isn't your mother
expecting you for dinner?

72
00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:25,885
I was just going.

73
00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:27,332
Okay.

74
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,506
Burt, your son is kissing!

75
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:32,886
Paul, your mother
is your mother.

76
00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:34,058
I know. I know.

77
00:04:34,196 --> 00:04:35,316
You're not gonna change her.

78
00:04:35,438 --> 00:04:37,334
We discuss this all the time.

79
00:04:37,472 --> 00:04:40,370
I don't know why you have to
pay that woman $100 an hour.

80
00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:42,577
I'll make it very
simple for you.

81
00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:45,198
Your mother is
a horrible person.

82
00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:48,302
Okay Period. End of sentence.

83
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,578
Free of charge.

84
00:04:51,130 --> 00:04:53,372
A hundred dollars a week?

85
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:57,476
When I first met your mother, do you
know what I was making? $65 a week.

86
00:04:57,613 --> 00:04:58,649
60!

87
00:04:58,786 --> 00:05:01,063
Sixty dollars a
week, I was making.

88
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,960
And I think when
Debbie was born,

89
00:05:03,098 --> 00:05:06,512
I gave myself a
raise, a whopping $75.

90
00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:09,409
80! $80 a week!

91
00:05:09,547 --> 00:05:13,547
But $100 a week to talk
about your problems?

92
00:05:13,962 --> 00:05:14,962
Unheard of.

93
00:05:15,031 --> 00:05:16,410
Unheard of!

94
00:05:16,548 --> 00:05:18,376
Didn't we teach you about money?

95
00:05:18,514 --> 00:05:21,066
You see how all the pictures
are facing the same way?

96
00:05:21,204 --> 00:05:23,618
That's fundamental,
very important.

97
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,584
When you see a guy with his
money facing every which direction,

98
00:05:26,722 --> 00:05:28,827
do you know what it
says? The guy's a loser.

99
00:05:28,964 --> 00:05:30,205
Big loser.

100
00:05:30,343 --> 00:05:32,044
Plus, and this is what I want
you to remember, Paulie...

101
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:34,241
The big bills are on the inside,

102
00:05:34,379 --> 00:05:36,759
and the singles and
the fives on the outside.

103
00:05:36,897 --> 00:05:38,449
Do you know why?

104
00:05:38,587 --> 00:05:41,138
Because that way people don't
see the big bills and rob you?

105
00:05:41,276 --> 00:05:43,552
That's right, my smart boy.

106
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:46,553
You see? Organized and nice.

107
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:49,737
You see, you want to put
the applesauce on this side

108
00:05:49,761 --> 00:05:51,347
and the green beans on this side

109
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:52,807
because they're
very different flavors

110
00:05:52,831 --> 00:05:55,107
and you don't want to get
them confused, you see?

111
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:56,694
Separate and nice.

112
00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,211
He's so his father
it's unbelievable.

113
00:06:00,349 --> 00:06:02,522
All right, first
of all, I'm not,

114
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:04,936
and, second of all, what
would be so bad if I were?

115
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:07,833
He always phrases things in
such a way that he can't be wrong.

116
00:06:07,971 --> 00:06:10,281
I don't. No. That's
not... I don't. No, I don't.

117
00:06:10,419 --> 00:06:11,819
And if I did, I do
it less than you.

118
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,282
See? Paul?

119
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,076
That was a little
childish. I caught that.

120
00:06:16,213 --> 00:06:17,731
It's not always
about winning, Paul.

121
00:06:17,869 --> 00:06:19,283
Thank you.

122
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,387
Okay, so how come
when she wins, that's okay?

123
00:06:23,181 --> 00:06:24,594
It'll be your third light.

124
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,260
Don't give her lights.
Give her landmarks.

125
00:06:26,284 --> 00:06:28,940
Third light. It's across
from Monty's house of pies.

126
00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:30,985
You'll see it. There's a
big store across the street.

127
00:06:31,009 --> 00:06:33,182
Pies. A big pie store.

128
00:06:34,079 --> 00:06:35,596
Monty's house of
pies. You know what?

129
00:06:35,734 --> 00:06:37,607
They'll see the "M" from
Monty's... big, like a mountain range.

130
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,711
Do you want to talk to her?

131
00:06:38,735 --> 00:06:40,091
Do you want her to
find it, or don't you?

132
00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:41,475
One of us is doing
this. You or me?

133
00:06:42,425 --> 00:06:43,771
You. Thank you.

134
00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:45,115
But you're doing it badly.

135
00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:48,461
No. See, it's a strip mall

136
00:06:48,599 --> 00:06:50,012
Right after the Cloverleaf turn.

137
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,737
It's the 28th light.

138
00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:53,772
You'll see there's a pet world,

139
00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:56,082
and then there's a baseball
card and memorabilia shop.

140
00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:57,945
You'll see a big
sign, "Doug's Cards."

141
00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,852
Make the right, then
you'll see another light.

142
00:06:59,876 --> 00:07:02,497
You know what? You can't miss
it. There's a huge wooden owl.

143
00:07:02,635 --> 00:07:04,532
The owl is gone.
Just look for the light.

144
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:06,084
Hold on a second. Excuse me.

145
00:07:06,222 --> 00:07:08,742
Is this not exactly the kind of
thing you hate when I do to you?

146
00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:11,154
Does it bother you?

147
00:07:11,292 --> 00:07:12,544
No, but the point is when I
do this kind of thing to you,

148
00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:13,672
you hate it.

149
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:16,121
Because it bothers
me. I understand.

150
00:07:16,259 --> 00:07:19,121
So, if this bothers
you, tell me.

151
00:07:19,259 --> 00:07:22,846
You're missing my point. The point
is, why can't you see the similarity

152
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,615
between when you do
this and when I do this?

153
00:07:24,639 --> 00:07:26,119
Because when you
do it, it's annoying.

154
00:07:30,261 --> 00:07:31,606
It's the 28th light.

155
00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:35,713
Well, who we marry
says a lot about us.

156
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:37,021
Meaning what?

157
00:07:37,158 --> 00:07:39,711
Well, for example, Paul,
when you talk about Jamie,

158
00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,688
it sounds like you're
talking about your mother.

159
00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:44,366
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Meaning
what? That I'm like his mother?

160
00:07:44,504 --> 00:07:45,746
Well, maybe.

161
00:07:45,884 --> 00:07:47,022
In some ways.

162
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,505
Or maybe you're
the exact opposite.

163
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,782
What do you think, Paul?
Is Jamie like your mother?

164
00:07:52,299 --> 00:07:53,368
Um...

165
00:07:53,886 --> 00:07:54,886
You know...

166
00:07:55,990 --> 00:07:56,990
If...

167
00:07:57,093 --> 00:07:58,093
It's...

168
00:07:58,231 --> 00:08:00,369
Who knows? You know?
Really? I don't know.

169
00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:03,060
When in the face of death,

170
00:08:03,198 --> 00:08:07,646
the mind calls forth a dizzying
array of seemingly unrelated images.

171
00:08:09,268 --> 00:08:10,371
Oh, uh...

172
00:08:10,509 --> 00:08:11,509
All right, uh...

173
00:08:11,647 --> 00:08:12,647
I see. Now you...

174
00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:14,372
Ha! What do you think of that?

175
00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:16,027
Paulie, what have we learned?

176
00:08:16,165 --> 00:08:18,166
When you play against my mom...

177
00:08:18,303 --> 00:08:19,452
Both: You ain't never gonna win.

178
00:08:19,476 --> 00:08:20,752
That's correct, my friend.

179
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:23,822
Everything comes to the surface.

180
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:26,374
Look at this.

181
00:08:26,443 --> 00:08:27,443
Cigarettes and matches...

182
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:29,478
Very nice for a 13-year-old boy.

183
00:08:29,616 --> 00:08:30,656
Where'd you find all this?

184
00:08:30,685 --> 00:08:32,134
Where? I found it.

185
00:08:32,272 --> 00:08:33,272
It was just sitting out?

186
00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:35,203
No, it wasn't just sitting out.

187
00:08:35,341 --> 00:08:36,410
It was in a box.

188
00:08:37,686 --> 00:08:39,031
Florsheim shoes.

189
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:40,238
Inside a bag.

190
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:42,514
In the closet.

191
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,860
In a bigger box marked
"letters from grandma."

192
00:08:44,998 --> 00:08:47,377
What was I, born yesterday?

193
00:08:47,515 --> 00:08:49,240
You ain't never gonna win.

194
00:08:49,378 --> 00:08:53,344
But, in truth, these images all
may be different expressions

195
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:55,448
of the same basic desire.

196
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,690
I want to win, Lord!

197
00:09:06,829 --> 00:09:07,829
Look at this.

198
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,312
Oh, for god's sake.

199
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:10,485
Naked girls, Burt.

200
00:09:10,623 --> 00:09:11,830
I see.

201
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,006
Not only naked, but look.
Look how they're sitting.

202
00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:15,664
And I'm not a prude, Burt.

203
00:09:15,797 --> 00:09:16,797
No, no, no.

204
00:09:16,866 --> 00:09:18,556
I don't know any
one of our friends

205
00:09:18,693 --> 00:09:20,049
who would say Sylvia
Buchman is a prude.

206
00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:21,487
No, no, no. They wouldn't.

207
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:23,464
Look at this. Can you imagine
if these girls' parents were alive

208
00:09:23,488 --> 00:09:24,970
and they stumbled across this?

209
00:09:25,108 --> 00:09:26,982
They'd... they'd...
they-d... I don't know what.

210
00:09:27,006 --> 00:09:29,489
He just leaves these sitting
around... My brilliant son?

211
00:09:29,626 --> 00:09:30,775
No, he didn't leave
them sitting around.

212
00:09:30,799 --> 00:09:32,351
I looked, I came across.

213
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,731
It was inside a little valise.

214
00:09:35,765 --> 00:09:36,765
In a blanket.

215
00:09:37,524 --> 00:09:38,524
Above the dryer.

216
00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:40,284
In the crawlspace.

217
00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:41,870
Oh.

218
00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:52,630
You ain't never gonna win.

219
00:09:52,768 --> 00:09:54,838
I want to win, lord!

220
00:09:54,975 --> 00:09:56,424
I want to win!

221
00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:00,011
You're not gonna get
anything past Jamie, ever,

222
00:10:00,149 --> 00:10:01,528
So you can just stop tryin'.

223
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:02,908
Yeah, but why is that?

224
00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:04,495
I was once gettin' my nails done

225
00:10:04,633 --> 00:10:08,151
at this place called Vivian's,
a great little shop I discovered.

226
00:10:08,288 --> 00:10:10,920
And, for some reason, I just
didn't feel like sharin' it with anyone.

227
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:11,978
Sure.

228
00:10:12,116 --> 00:10:14,392
I see Jamie and I'd just
gotten my nails done,

229
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,807
and she goes, "hi, Fran."

230
00:10:17,877 --> 00:10:18,877
Like that.

231
00:10:19,015 --> 00:10:21,325
"Hi, Fran."

232
00:10:21,463 --> 00:10:24,532
Like there was this little
awkward silence, like, "Fran."

233
00:10:24,670 --> 00:10:26,774
Isn't there anything you're
not sharing with me?"

234
00:10:26,912 --> 00:10:28,119
Oh, stop it.

235
00:10:28,257 --> 00:10:29,671
No. I am telling you,

236
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:32,913
she has this radar, and it goes
right to the back of your brain.

237
00:10:35,396 --> 00:10:38,363
Well, women, you gotta
understand, are different.

238
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:39,780
It's not just a man-woman thing.

239
00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:40,983
It's Jamie.

240
00:10:41,121 --> 00:10:42,304
I mean, you can lie to a woman,

241
00:10:42,328 --> 00:10:44,053
you just gotta work
a whole lot harder.

242
00:10:44,191 --> 00:10:46,605
I mean, to be honest with
you, it's almost not even wort

243
00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:48,709
Unless, of course,
you're very, very good.

244
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,892
How did she know I
didn't read the book?

245
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:53,272
Sweetie... I could
have read the book.

246
00:10:53,296 --> 00:10:54,675
No, no, no. You didn't commit.

247
00:10:54,814 --> 00:10:56,435
I committed. She said,

248
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,933
"Did you ever read
Angela's Ashes?"

249
00:10:58,055 --> 00:10:59,366
And I said, "mm-hmm."

250
00:10:59,504 --> 00:11:00,538
You've never read it.

251
00:11:00,676 --> 00:11:02,229
No, but she doesn't know that.

252
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,998
And I've been meaning to
read it, so that's like something.

253
00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:05,470
It's not like I
never heard of it.

254
00:11:05,608 --> 00:11:07,574
Sweetie, you can't
lie. Just accept it.

255
00:11:07,712 --> 00:11:08,712
What?

256
00:11:08,816 --> 00:11:09,999
You can't. You
don't have it in you.

257
00:11:10,023 --> 00:11:11,058
You're an honest person.

258
00:11:12,196 --> 00:11:14,196
That is a terrible thing to say.

259
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:16,334
No. It's one of the things
I love most about you.

260
00:11:16,472 --> 00:11:17,512
Let me tell you something.

261
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:18,816
I could lie as good as anybody.

262
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,301
You really can't.

263
00:11:20,439 --> 00:11:21,922
Hey, of course I can.

264
00:11:22,991 --> 00:11:25,302
Hmm... No, you
can't, but it's okay.

265
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,233
You know what? Now
you're really buggin' me.

266
00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:29,612
Sweetie! Just drop it!

267
00:11:39,476 --> 00:11:41,649
But I used to be
able to lie, didn't I?

268
00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:42,787
When?

269
00:11:42,856 --> 00:11:44,823
I don't know. Before, years ago.

270
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:47,271
Oh, yeah. Years ago
you were very strong.

271
00:11:47,409 --> 00:11:48,592
I mean, when you
applied yourself,

272
00:11:48,616 --> 00:11:50,306
you could lie like
nobody's business.

273
00:11:51,789 --> 00:11:54,341
What happened was
I did the assignment,

274
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:56,756
and then I did the
bonus questions, too...

275
00:11:56,894 --> 00:12:00,101
You know, the ones we
really didn't even have to do...

276
00:12:00,239 --> 00:12:04,205
But I didn't like the way those
came out, so I ripped 'em up.

277
00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:07,585
But I wasn't thinking, and I
accidentally ripped up the whole thing.

278
00:12:07,723 --> 00:12:10,999
With the other answers, the
ones we were supposed to do.

279
00:12:11,137 --> 00:12:14,379
So that's why when you
asked, did I do the assignment,

280
00:12:14,517 --> 00:12:17,518
I said, "well, yes, I did
it, but I don't have it."

281
00:12:20,932 --> 00:12:22,001
All right, then.

282
00:12:22,139 --> 00:12:23,139
Sit down.

283
00:12:26,795 --> 00:12:29,002
No. But I mean after
that, as a grownup.

284
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:30,451
I used to lie, didn't I?

285
00:12:30,589 --> 00:12:31,623
Sure. Yeah.

286
00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:33,482
Yeah. You remember
the girl from Cincinnati?

287
00:12:33,831 --> 00:12:34,865
Who was that?

288
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:36,072
I don't know her name.

289
00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:38,486
You don't remember her?
She was from Cincinnati.

290
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:39,901
Her? IRA: No.

291
00:12:40,039 --> 00:12:41,108
Her? IRA: No.

292
00:12:41,246 --> 00:12:42,556
Her? IRA: No.

293
00:12:42,694 --> 00:12:44,119
You mean her? No. She
had, like, reddish hair.

294
00:12:44,143 --> 00:12:45,143
You met her in Florida.

295
00:12:47,626 --> 00:12:48,879
Don't know who
you're talking about.

296
00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:50,765
Oh, yes, you do.
We met her in Florida.

297
00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:52,765
She was on vacation
from Cincinnati.

298
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,662
Her grandmother had a boat.

299
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,766
And my grandmother
got this guy's boat,

300
00:12:57,904 --> 00:12:59,767
so we came down from Cleveland.

301
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:00,905
Cleveland.

302
00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:02,077
Cleveland.

303
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,575
Yeah, sure. Of
course. Yeah. Right.

304
00:13:03,663 --> 00:13:05,122
You remember all the crap you
told her about you and boats?

305
00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:06,664
Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

306
00:13:06,802 --> 00:13:09,251
That's so funny. I
practically grew up on boats.

307
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,734
My... My father had...

308
00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:13,561
He built, actually,
a 40-foot, uh...

309
00:13:13,699 --> 00:13:15,114
So you know what
a storm chaser is?

310
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,183
No. It's a boat.

311
00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:19,355
And from the time
I was, like, three,

312
00:13:19,493 --> 00:13:20,839
I used to always
go out and, uh...

313
00:13:20,977 --> 00:13:22,160
I used to sit on my dad's lap.

314
00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,563
You know, he let
me hold the wheel,

315
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:26,185
and we used to just
sail across the water.

316
00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:30,117
Nobody around for miles, just
me, my old man, and the wind.

317
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:32,082
Yeah.

318
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:33,979
I remember, he always
used to say to me,

319
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:37,842
He said, "son, never forget
that a man and his boat

320
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,290
"Are like 2 hearts
in one soul...

321
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:46,153
"Caressing each other and holding
each other lovingly and tenderly.

322
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:49,705
"But always serving
one common master,

323
00:13:49,844 --> 00:13:53,776
which is their dance
across an ageless sea."

324
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:58,121
I don't know. I've... I just...

325
00:13:58,259 --> 00:13:59,939
I guess I've always
lived my life that way.

326
00:14:02,778 --> 00:14:06,847
I want you to take me
right here and right now.

327
00:14:09,537 --> 00:14:10,744
My god, I was good.

328
00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:11,917
I'm tellin' ya.

329
00:14:12,055 --> 00:14:13,055
What happened to me?

330
00:14:21,815 --> 00:14:22,953
Man, these are good.

331
00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:25,126
You see, Paulie,

332
00:14:25,229 --> 00:14:27,989
the trick is, you have
to balance yourself.

333
00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:30,087
I mean, it's like this
sandwich here, for example.

334
00:14:30,127 --> 00:14:31,610
This is a big sandwich.

335
00:14:31,748 --> 00:14:32,990
Yes.

336
00:14:33,127 --> 00:14:35,679
I mean, you figure between
the salami and the provolone

337
00:14:35,817 --> 00:14:38,369
and the mayonnaise... and
I'm usin' the real kind here...

338
00:14:38,507 --> 00:14:41,094
Mm-hmm. You add it
all up, you're talkin' about,

339
00:14:41,232 --> 00:14:42,956
well, like, uh...
A million calories.

340
00:14:43,094 --> 00:14:44,129
All right.

341
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,785
But everything in
balance, my friend.

342
00:14:46,923 --> 00:14:48,683
What do you suppose
that I had for breakfast?

343
00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:51,165
A smaller one of these?

344
00:14:52,303 --> 00:14:55,200
No, no, no. The
juice of one grapefruit.

345
00:14:55,821 --> 00:14:56,925
That's all?

346
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,476
Just that.

347
00:14:58,614 --> 00:15:01,304
It's all a question of
balance, my friend.

348
00:15:05,512 --> 00:15:07,202
Mmm!

349
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,203
I could stop eatin'
any time I want.

350
00:15:10,823 --> 00:15:13,306
You see what it is? It's
twice the chocolate now.

351
00:15:13,444 --> 00:15:16,066
Now, that's just unfair.

352
00:15:17,273 --> 00:15:18,929
Toying with people's lives.

353
00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:23,032
I could stop eatin'
any time I want to.

354
00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:27,033
Servings per container...

355
00:15:27,171 --> 00:15:28,451
Eight? What, are
they kidding me?

356
00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:30,671
There's no way this is
making it through eight people.

357
00:15:42,035 --> 00:15:43,415
The whole bag?

358
00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:45,691
I ate an entire bag of cookies?

359
00:15:45,829 --> 00:15:47,036
Why didn't you stop me?

360
00:15:48,934 --> 00:15:50,694
Or at least go get me
some milk or somethin'?

361
00:15:52,072 --> 00:15:54,382
And I know you're not supposed
to eat that many cookies.

362
00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:56,935
So I know I'm out of control.

363
00:15:57,418 --> 00:15:58,418
Mm-hmm.

364
00:15:59,694 --> 00:16:00,728
Yeah.

365
00:16:03,488 --> 00:16:05,557
What? You're not eating.

366
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:08,178
I'm eating. I've been eating
since I got home from camp.

367
00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:09,596
So you'll eat a little more.

368
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:15,801
I mean, I'm sure it's connected
to my childhood somehow,

369
00:16:15,938 --> 00:16:17,559
You know, but I don't
know exactly how.

370
00:16:17,697 --> 00:16:18,697
Hmm.

371
00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:20,284
Well, what do you
think it might be?

372
00:16:25,663 --> 00:16:26,664
I don't know.

373
00:16:30,492 --> 00:16:31,664
Hard to say, really.

374
00:16:38,632 --> 00:16:40,183
Maybe, just maybe,

375
00:16:40,321 --> 00:16:43,046
there's, like, a sexual
component, you know?

376
00:16:43,184 --> 00:16:45,564
Because I know it's always
related somehow to sexual things.

377
00:16:45,702 --> 00:16:47,151
I don't know exactly how,

378
00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:48,649
but I'm suggesting
maybe it's that.

379
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:54,255
Maybe fighting or
wanting to have a fight.

380
00:16:56,669 --> 00:16:58,704
Or my mother. Maybe
it's old anger at my mother.

381
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,705
Maybe Jamie and my mother.

382
00:17:07,395 --> 00:17:08,855
You know, something to
do with the two of them,

383
00:17:08,879 --> 00:17:10,292
maybe something between them.

384
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,017
Maybe something I feel
towards both of them.

385
00:17:13,603 --> 00:17:14,603
Eh...

386
00:17:14,672 --> 00:17:16,362
I just want to win, Lord!

387
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,328
I really, really,
would like to win.

388
00:17:19,466 --> 00:17:21,777
Maybe it's about
winning, wanting to win,

389
00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:23,984
feeling a need to win...

390
00:17:24,122 --> 00:17:25,398
Having a desire to win?

391
00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:27,640
I like to win.

392
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:29,330
Winning?

393
00:17:35,814 --> 00:17:37,366
Perhaps with anger?

394
00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:39,884
Mixed in there with
the anger, I'm guessing?

395
00:17:46,437 --> 00:17:47,954
With the whole sexual thing.

396
00:17:50,024 --> 00:17:51,304
And a little, like,
my childhood.

397
00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:54,714
Wanting to measure up.

398
00:17:54,852 --> 00:17:57,232
You know, fear of not
measuring up somehow.

399
00:17:57,852 --> 00:17:58,852
My father?

400
00:17:58,921 --> 00:18:00,404
Is it my father somehow?

401
00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:02,819
As the breadwinner, you know,

402
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,578
or, like, the rock
of the family?

403
00:18:07,923 --> 00:18:08,923
Ooh. Uh...

404
00:18:08,992 --> 00:18:09,992
Well, just whatever.

405
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,958
You know, my father in general.

406
00:18:12,096 --> 00:18:14,166
Look, Paul, actually,
I can't help you.

407
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,028
Just a little!

408
00:18:16,097 --> 00:18:18,580
If I could win just a little!

409
00:18:19,649 --> 00:18:21,339
What if you can't?

410
00:18:22,305 --> 00:18:23,650
How's that?

411
00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:27,788
Uh, I say, what
if you can't win?

412
00:18:27,926 --> 00:18:30,616
Do you still want to live?

413
00:18:32,376 --> 00:18:34,652
Yes, but not as much.

414
00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:36,617
Paul...

415
00:18:36,755 --> 00:18:38,239
You... You kill me.

416
00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:40,066
Don't you realize

417
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:43,274
that there are things much
more important than winning?

418
00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:44,481
Think, man.

419
00:18:44,618 --> 00:18:45,723
Think.

420
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,250
Oh.

421
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,044
Sure.

422
00:19:48,767 --> 00:19:49,940
Oh!

423
00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:51,561
Oh, boy.

424
00:19:52,561 --> 00:19:53,881
Hey, stop. Stop,
stop, stop, stop!

425
00:19:53,907 --> 00:19:55,267
I ate the cookies,
all the cookies.

426
00:19:55,355 --> 00:19:58,115
I ate all the cookies.
Okay, here's the bag.

427
00:19:58,253 --> 00:20:00,563
I hid it in the couch
when you came in.

428
00:20:00,701 --> 00:20:02,322
I wasn't gonna tell
you, but I am, okay?

429
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:04,563
I... I am the eater
of the cookies.

430
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,564
But I just want you to
understand something.

431
00:20:07,702 --> 00:20:10,393
I could've gotten away with
this if I wanted to, you know.

432
00:20:10,530 --> 00:20:12,186
I mean, I could've
never told you,

433
00:20:12,324 --> 00:20:13,876
and you never would
have known, right?

434
00:20:14,014 --> 00:20:15,921
I mean, before when I told
you that I didn't eat the cookies,

435
00:20:15,945 --> 00:20:17,128
I said, "oh, I didn't
eat the cookies."

436
00:20:17,152 --> 00:20:18,197
You believed me, didn't you?

437
00:20:18,221 --> 00:20:19,394
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

438
00:20:19,532 --> 00:20:21,257
Which means I can lie to you.

439
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,877
I choose not to.

440
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,302
That's right. I mean, you
could have been looking

441
00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:26,509
for that bag the
rest of your life.

442
00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:28,027
You never would have
found it, you know?

443
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:29,372
And I would have
won. I would have won.

444
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,716
I would have had
my little secret,

445
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,924
and you would have gone
insane, looking for those cookies.

446
00:20:32,948 --> 00:20:34,476
You would have ended
up in a home somewhere.

447
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,200
I'd have to visit you twice
a month until we're dead.

448
00:20:36,224 --> 00:20:38,742
But I didn't. I didn't,
and you know why?

449
00:20:39,018 --> 00:20:40,156
Why?

450
00:20:40,294 --> 00:20:41,674
I don't want to lie to you.

451
00:20:41,812 --> 00:20:43,398
It makes me feel bad.

452
00:20:44,501 --> 00:20:45,708
I love you.

453
00:20:45,847 --> 00:20:48,537
Everything else
is just silliness.

454
00:20:48,675 --> 00:20:51,035
And if there's anything clogging
up whatever you and I have,

455
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:52,917
I don't want it, and I
won't let it be there.

456
00:20:54,641 --> 00:20:55,745
Thank you.

457
00:20:55,883 --> 00:20:56,883
You're welcome.

458
00:21:02,436 --> 00:21:03,996
So that's why you
weren't gonna tell me,

459
00:21:04,091 --> 00:21:05,574
just so you could
prove you could lie?

460
00:21:05,712 --> 00:21:06,712
Uh-huh.

461
00:21:07,781 --> 00:21:09,644
Wow. Yeah. I know.

462
00:21:09,781 --> 00:21:11,101
But I get it now.
Very clever now.

463
00:21:11,127 --> 00:21:12,299
Well, good.

464
00:21:13,093 --> 00:21:14,335
Can I ask you just one thing?

465
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:15,542
Go ahead.

466
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,576
Why did you eat 15
cookies in the first place?

467
00:21:18,231 --> 00:21:19,404
They were just very good.

468
00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:20,543
I see. Sure.

469
00:21:28,233 --> 00:21:30,785
♪ I'm gonna take a shower

470
00:21:31,889 --> 00:21:34,303
♪ Because I enjoy

471
00:21:34,959 --> 00:21:36,545
♪ A shower

472
00:21:36,959 --> 00:21:38,270
♪ But

473
00:21:38,408 --> 00:21:40,339
♪ I don't enjoy

474
00:21:40,477 --> 00:21:41,891
♪ Falling

475
00:21:42,029 --> 00:21:43,718
♪ So this way

476
00:21:43,857 --> 00:21:46,754
♪ I maybe won't fall

477
00:21:48,134 --> 00:21:52,099
♪ I put little sticky
things on the tub floor

478
00:21:52,237 --> 00:21:54,582
♪ They will help the friction

479
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,411
♪ So I don't fall

480
00:21:56,549 --> 00:21:57,998
♪ And die